Today I did not wake up in my own bed. I did not get ready in my own bathroom. I did not feed my cats, I did not let my dog out. I did not meet my neighbor at six fifty-five to drive to the train station. I did not stop at my usual coffee shop.

This evening I will not pull into my driveway. I will not put my key in the back door as I have everyday for the last year and a half. I will not be greeted by three small-to-medium sized furballs waiting for their dinner. I will not sit on my front porch sipping wine. I will not cook dinner on my grill. I will not watch the news on my tv while sitting on the couch come six-thirty.

As the week goes on, I will not be putting the trash & recycling out on. I will not be worried whether or not the fan is on in the bathroom after I shower. I will not empty the dehumidifier in the basement. I will not water the plants. I will not clean the house. It will no longer be my concern when the neighbors are screaming at each other.

Yes, today was a shift in my routine, alright.

I have migrated from everything in its own place to my clothes in bags, and whatever breakable items I have wrapped in towels stuffed in laundry baskets because I didn’t have enough time to get boxes and tissue paper.

It’s a nightmare to be this unorganized.

But here’s what I will do.

When I get off the train in about thirty-five minutes I will walk to my car. I will get on route ninety-five south. I will pass by my old exit. I will wind through providence until I come to exit fourteen-a. I will take it. I will end up at my parents house, where all of my bags and towel-wrapped glasses are being stored. I will shower. I will dig for some clothes. I will head out, close the door behind me, and forget for the moment that tomorrow night I have to sort through my belongings.

I will also keep my head up. I will remind myself that I took a big step in leaving, and that it’s to benefit myself in the long run. I will remember that as hard as it may be to believe the cliché saying, it is for the best.

Today…. there was a shift in my routine.

But what I did today will become a familiar routine to me soon enough, and take the place of the one I seem to be missing.